Will Anfeldt

A surprisingly practical guide to not destroying your team’s psychological wellbeing

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Congratulations! You’ve been promoted to management. Your first instinct might be to celebrate with a power lunch and start referring to yourself as a “thought leader.” But hold that champagne – you now have the awesome responsibility of caring for actual human beings with feelings, anxieties, and an alarming tendency to have mental health needs.

Don’t panic. This guide will help you navigate the treacherous waters of employee wellbeing without accidentally becoming the villain in someone’s therapy sessions.

Step 1: Recognize the Warning Signs

Your employees might be struggling with mental health if they exhibit any of these behaviors:

• Arriving exactly on time instead of 20 minutes early
• Taking their legally mandated lunch breaks
• Not responding to emails at 11 PM with enthusiasm
• Asking clarifying questions about impossible deadlines
• Showing signs of having a life outside of work

If you notice these red flags, resist your first instinct to schedule a “performance improvement plan.” Instead, consider that they might be practicing this radical concept called “work-life balance.”

Step 2: Master the Art of Realistic Expectations

Remember when you promised the client that your team could rebuild Rome in a day? That was adorable. Here’s a revolutionary management technique: try asking your team how long something will actually take before promising delivery dates that would make Amazon Prime weep.

Bad Manager: “I know you said this project needs three weeks, but I told the CEO we’d have it done by Friday. Figure it out!”

Good Manager: “The client wants this by Friday, but you’ve said you need three weeks. Help me understand what we can realistically deliver, and I’ll manage expectations accordingly.”

One approach creates stress-induced hair loss. The other creates loyalty and realistic project timelines.

Step 3: Learn the Magic Words

There are three phrases that can dramatically improve your team’s mental health:

1. “That sounds challenging. What support do you need?” Instead of: “Just make it work.”
2. “Thanks for raising this concern.” Instead of: “Don’t bring me problems, bring me solutions.” (Seriously, this phrase should be banned from all workplaces.)
3. “Let’s prioritize what’s most important.” Instead of: “Everything is urgent and top priority.”

These phrases work like magic spells, except instead of summoning demons, they summon employee engagement and reduce turnover.

Step 4: Understand That Your Team Are Humans, Not Productivity Robots

Shocking revelation: your employees have lives outside of work. They get sick, have family emergencies, experience anxiety, and sometimes their car breaks down on the same day their dog needs surgery and their mother-in-law comes to visit.

When someone calls in sick, try responding with “Feel better soon” instead of “We really need you today.” The work will survive. Your employee’s trust in you might not if you guilt them about being human.

Step 5: Create Psychological Safety (It’s Not Just a Buzzword)

Psychological safety means your team feels comfortable speaking up without fear of being punished, humiliated, or ignored. Here’s how to tell if you’ve achieved it:

• People ask questions in meetings instead of nodding and panicking quietly
• Someone occasionally disagrees with you (and the sky doesn’t fall)
• Your team tells you about problems early instead of hiding them until they become disasters
• People admit mistakes without immediately updating their LinkedIn profiles

If your meetings feel like hostage situations where everyone agrees with everything you say, you might be the problem.

Step 6: Respect the Sacred Boundary Between Work and Life

Your employee’s personal time is not your emergency overflow valve. Unless someone is literally performing life-saving surgery or preventing nuclear meltdowns, that urgent email can wait until business hours.

Pro tip: If you find yourself typing “Sorry to bother you on the weekend, but…” stop typing. You’re not sorry, and it is bothering them. Save the draft and send it Monday morning like a civilized human being.

Step 7: Recognize When Professional Help is Needed

You’re a manager, not a therapist. If an employee is struggling with mental health issues beyond normal workplace stress, your job is to:

• Be supportive and non-judgmental
• Know your company’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP) resources
• Provide reasonable accommodations when possible
• Not try to diagnose or treat mental health conditions yourself

Think of yourself as a workplace first-aid kit, not a psychiatric hospital.

Step 8: Lead by Example

Your team is watching how you handle stress, take breaks, and maintain boundaries. If you’re sending emails at midnight and bragging about working weekends, don’t be surprised when your team burns out trying to match your unsustainable pace.

Take your vacation days. Leave the office at reasonable times. Model the behavior you want to see. Your heroic martyr complex isn’t helping anyone’s mental health.

The Bottom Line

Supporting your team’s mental health isn’t just good karma – it’s good business. Happy, healthy employees are more creative, productive, and less likely to quit via interpretive dance in the middle of the quarterly review meeting.

Plus, when you eventually need therapy yourself (and let’s be honest, all managers do), you’ll want to look back knowing you were part of the solution, not the reason your employees’ therapists can afford beach houses.

Remember: You have the power to make work a place where people thrive instead of just survive. Use that power wisely, and maybe – just maybe – you won’t be the reason someone starts a support group called “Survivors of Terrible Managers.”

Now go forth and manage with compassion. Your employees’ mental health (and your own) depends on it.

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Disclaimer: This blog post contains actual useful advice disguised as humor. Side effects may include improved employee retention, better team morale, and the strange sensation of people actually wanting to work for you. Consult your HR department if you experience any of these symptoms.